"I'M NOT SLEEPING ANYMORE"

this will be disjointed.

my life is consumed with becoming a master of technology, which basically means i have let personal needs, including sleep and a regular eating pattern, has totally gone by the wayside. anyone who knows me knows how much i love to eat, and how much i love to talk about food, and how much i really savor the experience of tasting something delicious. apparently, when i work for hours on end, i apparently forget this love affair.

get this - was so busy last night that at 8 45 i realized i hadn't eaten anything since my half a sandwich and apple from the early afternoon. i took a break to make a quick box of mac and cheese (yes, i am totally re-immersing myself in the college experience, but alas, it was NOT easy mac). well, i forgot about it and overcooked the elbow macaroni (which is actually kind of good because i hate to chew - i know, you'd think it would be part of the full experience of eating, but i'm not a fan. except for gum. i liiiike chewing gum), so by the time i remembered all the noodles were stuck to the bottom of the pot. no big deal, just added hte cheese, put it in a bowl, ate a few bites, and kept working.

i've had some real weird sleep issues for some time now, in that i just can't get myself to do it sometimes. but this week has been ridiculous. i am averaging about 4 hrs a night despite trying to go to bed early. do you have any idea how frustrating it is lying in bed thinking "i can do this! all i need to do is shut my eyes and drift off..." when suddenly, my mind totally wanders to what book i read that was about that girl from africa with the family that... what the heck? it doesn't help that the super-drunk couple decided to blast "i'm the one who wants to be with you" and then sing it as loud as they could right outside my window at 1 am on a wednesday night. it's kind of like romeo and juliet, but without the balcony, love or mutual feelings. so maybe it's not like that example at all. jeeez.

i have never outputted this much work in five days ever. and i am so tired. eventually, i am bound to crash from this deprivation of basic needs.

despite this, the program's pretty amazing and the people are interesting. so that kind of makes it worth it... kind of.